Whenever I start a new body of work, try something new, push things a bit further or feel growth in my work happening I feel vulnerable and that makes it harder to share what I’m working on. I need a little time to get used to the ‘newness’ before I feel comfortable enough to voice it.
I always strive for my work to be as authentic as possible, that means it comes from an authentic place, which means every piece of my work is like a page from my journal, colours, brushstrokes and shapes translating, words, thoughts, feelings and emotions, there on the canvas for everyone to see. I’m understanding that the vulnerability I feel is from fear of being misunderstood. Fear of my ‘voice’ being misinterpreted.
However, I’m also finding that the more authentic I am and I feel in my process, the more I connect with people who ‘hear me’, who understand what I’m trying to say with my work, and that is such a wonderful feeling. Being and feeling vulnerable is human nature and I think is this hustle driven, noisy world many of us are craving more realness.
As I dig deeper and this new body of work starts to come to life, the feelings of vulnerability escalate, along with the self doubt and the chatter of my inner self critic. I know I have to let go and give into these feelings to move my work forwards and more importantly for me as a human to heal…. to allow these new pieces to come to life and send them out into the world is me showing up more as me, shedding another layer that I clothed myself with as ‘protection’.
Being able to shed these layers is liberating.
I’m hoping to get comfortable in my vulnerability around these new pieces soon, as as much I am feeling uncomfortable about sharing them, I’m also feeling pretty excited.
Until next time friends, please remember just how 'Strong and Capable' you truly are!