5 Things to Help You Carve Out More Creative Headspace

‘Embracing What Is’

The act of self-care has become incredibly common in recent years, it’s often used on social media with a picture of a glass of wine, a bubble bath or Netflix. But for some people, self-care is - and needs to be - so much more than watching Netflix.

Self-care is about creating boundaries with yourself.

There it was, an innocent question that left me very uncomfortable… 4 simple words; What is your secret?

She had sent me a DM, asking me questions like whether or not I had help or a team… but those 4 words ‘What is your secret?’ shook me.

At first my initial reaction to this question was a feeling that I had in some way failed the people who follow my work, that I had given the impression that I’m someone I am not.

Above all I always strive to be as authentic and as honest as possible not only as a person, but also through my work, because having spent many many years of my life feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, due to lack of identity and purpose, I have equally spent many years striving to claim my identity and understand my purpose.

It is not possible for me to make clear boundaries between my life, my role as a mother and my work. 

Every piece of my artwork is like a page from my personal journal; colours, brushstrokes and shapes translating, words, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and above all lessons learned, there on the canvas for everyone to see and interpret. 

As I sit writing this I understand that the failure I was feeling from my initial reaction was in fact vulnerability, a fear of being misunderstood. 

Fear of my 'voice' being misinterpreted or misjudged.

I never intend nor want to give the impression that I spin many plates and that I have it all together, because this is by NO means the case friends.

To some I may appear to do it 'ALL', but friends, my ALL is very small.

As I delve deeper into myself and uncover parts of myself that feel more like me, of course there are times when I feel more vulnerable than others, but as I shed more layers that I have used to clothe myself in as protection I feel liberated and lighter that I now have a deeper understanding of who I am and what I'm here to do.

And today that is to share my secret with you... it lies in SELF CARE.

The emphasis being on SELF. 

We are taught that self care is anything we do to take care of our mental, emotional and physical health.

I interpret self care as literally taking care of one's SELF. 

If you look 'self' up in the dictionary, this is what you will find: "SELF: a person's essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action."

As someone who has struggled with a sense of self, I know just how much toll that can take on one's mental and physical health. My wellbeing relies heavily on me taking care of who I am and who I want to become.

How I do that is by cultivating and creating an environment in which I am able to create the right headspace that allows me to stay focused on what really matters in order for me to feel like more like me:

ORGANISATION 

Being organised in my home and with my work allows me to create more time to get into the right headspace, it allows space for me to create, and to lean into the things that bring me more ease. 

HAVE LESS, BE MORE

I have found that having less of everything in my life to look after or to think about means that I have so much more time to be and to do the things that bring me joy. Learn to know what really matters to you, what really merits your physical and mental space in your life.

STRUCTURE

Structure is created by doing the work, by going inward and asking yourself; what is it that I need? Where does the dis'ease' stems from and what do you need to do to follow your ease?

When you start to have answers to these questions, you start to understand what your 'non negotiables' are. What YOU need in your life to keep you focused on SELF.

BE PREPARED

Do things that your future self will thank you for. Recognise situations and circumstances in your daily routine that create tension for you and your family, where you can prepare for more ease in your life?

As our days quite often look similar we can start to understand where, when and how stressors occur, we can start to anticipate when things may become difficult or uncomfortable. 

We can look forward to how things might plan out from repeated past experiences and do some preparation that may help to bring ease to the situation.

For example I have one child who has a morning routine set to his watch. I know that by 7.38am he likes to have finished his breakfast and be on his way to brushing his teeth. My other child has zero sense of time and if she does, she shows little care about it. I deal with this by preparing the breakfast table the night before and laying out their clothes. That means I can be on schedule for one child and have more patience for the other who needs some encouragement in the mornings.

LEARN YOUR LIMITS

Know when to give yourself a break. Learn when you need to slow it all down, learn how to keep stepping without going very far, and to breathe that bit deeper. Develop your own boundaries from negative influences, one of my favourite mantras is: "I have no time for negativity".

Caring for our SELF in this way does take courage and most of all it takes discipline. Whilst it may look like I ‘do it all’, the truth is that my ‘all’ has clear boundaries; to create the healthiest version of myself, a person who can get up each morning and go to bed each night knowing that my life serves the purpose.

When your ALL is small your life can feel so much richer.